The Best Funny Whatsapp Status - Funny Quotes

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These Are Some Best Funny Whatsapp Status Ever

• Hey you, yeah I’m talking to you, Why the hell are you reading my status?
• It’s better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.
• Don’t hit kids! No, seriously, They Have Guns Now.

• Sometimes one middle finger isn’t enough to let someone know how you feel. That’s why you have two hands.
• One simple Math rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong.
• I just saw the smartest person when I was in front of the mirror!
• Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them!
• Dear automatic flushing toilet. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn’t done yet.
• Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
• Whenever I have a problem, I just sing, then I realize my voice is worse than my problem.
• Life taught me lots of lessons, but I bunked those classes too!
• If you are reading this then I’m sure you have nothing to do in your life.
• Don’t call me then if You are men!
• Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing the pen drive safely.

Funny Whatsapp Status

• Not all men are fools, some stay single.
• My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!
• Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
• WAIT! Do you have an appointment to see my status?
• Someone on his WhatsApp status “sleeping” for the last three days. He probably dead!
• I should have come with a manual. I confuse myself.
• Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her!
• Life Is Short. Smile While You Still Have Teeth.

• You’re right. I’m NOT perfect. But I’m unique!
• In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.
• For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember that’s where the knives are kept.
• I didn’t lose my mind ….I just sold it online.
• If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
• I work for money for loyalty, hire a Dog.
• Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.

• My secret talent is getting tired without doing anything!
• I can handle pain until it hurts.
• Scratch Here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ To Reveal My Bio!
• Doing nothing is a very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.
• Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
• It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
• Warning!! I know MARTIAL ARTS and few other oriental words.
• Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
• I always learn from the mistakes of others who take my advice.
• Some wise guy created Whatsapp…..and his wife added last seen feature.
• Light travels faster than sound…that's why people appear bright until they speak.
• A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.
• I shouldn’t be allowed to go on Snapchat, Facebook, or Instagram when I’m drunk!
• People who write “u” instead of “you”. What do you do with all the time you save?
• If money grew on trees, then girls would be dating monkeys!
• Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.

Funny Whatsapp Status Images In English

• Meet My Partner In Crime!
• The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep.
• I wish I had a delete button in my life. To delete some people, some memories, and some feelings.
• When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be ‘I left one million dollars in the…’
• Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?
• It must be difficult to post inspirational status when your blood type is B Negative!
• Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my Whatsapp status.
• I’m not 30, I’m 17 with 13 years of experience!
• Never laugh at your wife’s choices… you are one of them.
• I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
• Dear problems… Please give me a discount… I am a regular customer.
• Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.
• I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.

Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas

• C.L.A.S.S – Come Late And Start Sleeping.
• When I was Born DEVIL said Ohh Shitt, Competition!
• Facebook should have an ‘Enemy List’.
• I need Google in my brain.
• For maximum attention, nothing beats a good mistake!
• Whatsapp Status Ever… Can’t talk, wife around!
• Math: Mental Abuse To Humans!
• Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood.
• I’m not smart. I just wear glasses.
• The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is Salary is Credited.
• With Great Power Comes Great Electricity Bill.
• My wallet is like onion, opening it makes me cry.
• Life is too Short – Chat Fast!
• I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

• I am not lazy, I am on energy-saving mode.
• I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
• Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
• Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.
• Totally available!! Please disturb me!
• Interrupt My Sleep & I'll Interrupt Your Breathing.
• Whoever says "Good Morning" on Monday's deserves to get slapped!
• I would lose weight, but I hate losing.
• If you can’t find the key to success, change the damn lock!
• I’m too lazy to stop being lazy.
• The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
• I used to like my neighbors until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
• I’m not lazy, I’m just very relaxed.
• One person’s LOL is another person’s WTF.

Funny Quotes For Whatsapp

• Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
• My heart is stolen..can I check your bra***!
• Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is indeed a blessing.
• What if girls can read minds… Every second a boy gets slapped!
• People that Change Love status after 30 Sec… GF is the Reason.
• Why is it so easy to fall asleep in class than in bed?
• A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that girl… , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”!
• I will marry the girl, who looks pretty in her Adhaar card
• I’m cool but global warming made me very hot!
• Someone asked me, what’s your relationship status? I replied, Still looking for a FREE Wi-Fi connection!
• Teachers call it cheating; students call it teamwork!
• I Can't Taste My Lips. Could You Do It For Me?
• Happiness is when “last seen at” changes to “online” and then to “typing”.

Funny Whatsapp DP, Funny DP

• Money doesn`t bring happiness... but shopping does.
• There Are Three Types of Girls: 1) No Lipstick, 2) Girls Who Use Lipstick, 3)Who EATS Lipstick!
• If swimming is an exercise then why do whales are fat.
• When I get a friend request from an unknown girl-:o!
• Women only need 5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure, it’s called a credit card.
• Every guy thinks that every girl's dream is to find the perfect guy.....Please! Every girl's dream is to eat without getting fat!
• If life gives you lemons, squirt them in your enemy’s eye.
• Dekh Bhai! Ladki hu koi Noodle Nhi jo 2 minutes m teyaar ho jaungi! (Hindi Funny Status)
• Girl: What is the Price of Galaxy Grand? Salesman : 18,000. Girl: OMG ! and iPhone? Salesman: OMG + OMG + OMG + OMG!

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