Funny WhatsApp Status And Instagram Captions.

Funny WhatsApp Status And Instagram Captions.

Are you searching for Funny Status For WhatsApp and a selfie? We have a most hilarious collection of Best Funny WhatsApp Status and Instagram Captions. So use these high-spirited Funny WhatsApp Status to your profile and selfies and make it more special.

Funny Status For Whatsapp


  • Hey you, yeah I’m talking to you, Why the hell are you reading my status?
  • It’s better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.
  • Don’t hit kids!!! No, seriously, They Have Guns Now.

Funny WhatsApp Status in English

  • Sometimes one middle finger isn’t enough to let someone know how you feel. That’s why you have two hands.
  • One simple Math rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong.
  • Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror!
  • Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them!
  • Dear automatic flushing toilet. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn’t done yet.
  • Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
  • Whenever I have a problem, I just sing, then I realize my voice is worse than my problem.
  • Life taught me lots of lessons, but I bunked those classes too!
  • If you are reading this then I’m sure you have nothing to do in your life.
  • Don’t call me then if You are men!
  • Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.

Funny Status For WhatsApp

  • Not all men are fools, some stay single.
  • My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!
  • Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
  • WAIT! Do you have an appointment to see my status?
  • Someone on his WhatsApp status “sleeping” since last three days. He probably dead!
  • I should have come with a manual. I confuse myself.
  • Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her!
  • Life Is Short. Smile While You Still Have Teeth.

Funny Captions

  • You’re right. I’m NOT perfect. But I’m unique!
  • In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.
  • For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember that’s where the knives are kept.
  • I didn’t lose my mind ….I just sold it online.
  • If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
  • I work for money for loyalty, hire a Dog.
  • Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.

Best Funny Status For WhatsApp
New Funny Instagram Status And Captions

  • My secret talent is getting tired without doing anything!
  • I can handle pain until it hurts.
  • Scratch Here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ To Reveal My Bio!
  • Doing nothing is a very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.
  • Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
  • It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
  • Warning!! I know MARTIAL ARTS and few other oriental words.
  • Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
  • I always learn from the mistakes of others who take my advice.
  • Some wise guy created Whatsapp…..and his wife added last seen feature.
  • Light travels faster than sound…that's why people appear bright until they speak.
  • A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.
  • I shouldn’t be allowed to go on Snapchat, Facebook or Instagram when I’m drunk!
  • People who write “u” instead of “you”. What do you do with all the time you save?
  • If money grew on trees, then girls would be dating monkeys!
  • Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.

Funny Best Friends Status

  • Meet My Partner In Crime!
  • The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep.
  • I wish I had a delete button in my life. To delete some people, some memories, and some feelings.
  • When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be ‘I left one million dollars in the…’
  • Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?
  • It must be difficult to post inspirational status when your blood type is B Negative!
  • Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my Whatsapp status.
  • I’m not 30, I’m 17 with 13 years of experience!
  • Never laugh at your wife’s choices… you are one of them.
  • I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
  • Dear problems… Please give me some discount… I am a regular customer.
  • Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.
  • I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.

Single-Line Funny WhatsApp Status

  • C.L.A.S.S – Come Late And Start Sleeping.
  • When I was Born DEVIL said Ohh Shitt, Competition!
  • Facebook should have an ‘Enemy List’.
  • I need Google in my brain.
  • For maximum attention, nothing beats a good mistake!
  • Whatsapp Status Ever… Can’t talk, wife around!
  • Math: Mental Abuse To Humans!
  • Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood.
  • I’m not smart. I just wear glasses.
  • The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is Salary is Credited.
  • With Great Power Comes Great Electricity Bill.
  • My wallet is like onion, opening it makes me cry.
  • Life is too Short – Chat Fast!
  • I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  • I am not lazy, I am on energy-saving mode.
  • I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
  • Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
  • Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.
  • Totally available!! Please disturb me!
  • Interrupt My Sleep & I'll Interrupt Your Breathing.
  • Whoever says "Good Morning" on Monday's deserves to get slapped!
  • I would lose weight, but I hate losing.
  • If you can’t find the key to success, change the damn lock!
  • I’m too lazy to stop being lazy.
  • The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
  • I used to like my neighbors until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
  • I’m not lazy, I’m just very relaxed.
  • One person’s LOL is another person’s WTF.

Funny Status

Funny WhatsApp Status For Boys

  • Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
  • My heart is stolen..can I check your bra***!
  • Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is indeed a blessing.
  • What if girls can read minds… Every second a boy gets slapped!
  • People that Change Love status after 30 Sec… GF is the Reason.
  • Why is it so easy to fall asleep in class than in bed?
  • Man ask a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that girl… , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”!
  • I will marry the girl, who looks pretty in her Adhaar card
  • I’m cool but global warming made me very hot!
  • Someone asked me, what’s your relationship status? I replied, Still looking for a FREE Wi-Fi connection!
  • Teachers call it cheating; students call it teamwork!
  • I Can't Taste My Lips. Could You Do It For Me?
  • Happiness is when “last seen at” changes to “online” and then to “typing”.

Funny Status For Girls

  • Money doesn`t bring happiness....... but shopping does.
  • There Are Three Types of Girls: 1) No Lipstick, 2) Girls Who Use Lipstick, 3)Who EATS Lipstick!
  • If swimming is an exercise then why do whales are fat.
  • When I get a friend request from unknown girl-:o!
  • Women only need 5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure, it’s called a credit card.
  • Every guy thinks that every girl's dream is to find the perfect guy.....Please! Every girl's dream is to eat without getting fat!
  • If life gives you lemons, squirt them in your enemy’s eye.
  • Dekh Bhai! Ladki hu koi Noodle Nhi jo 2 minutes m teyaar ho jaungi! (Hindi Funny Status)
  • Girl: What is the Price of Galaxy Grand? Salesman : 18,000. Girl: OMG ! and iPhone? Salesman: OMG + OMG + OMG + OMG!

Hope you like our Best Funny Status For WhatsApp And Instagram. 

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